Getting Through the Wait - Channeling Spring

Painting found at http://www.etsy.com/listing/88059835/51-birds-no-18-19-limited-edition

I've been channeling Spring lately. Yes, I know it's only February, but in Virginia, the weather has been quite mild. In fact, our trees are already budding and I saw a knock-out rose bush the other day that was blooming. 

Like Frederick, I'm pretty good at thinking about sunny days when these Winter days get long. But there are moments when I think to myself, "Self, I just wish Springtime would get here."

It's kind of the same thing with adoption. Most days, I can stay upbeat by updating my blog, reading inspiring stories of other folks who have successfully adopted and believing that one day it will happen. In my experience, once I set an intention, it usually happens - but not always on my timeline. The Universe has its own timeline and you just can't mess with that.

So on those days when I start to think to myself, "Self, we'll never find a match," Robert comes through. What you may not know about Robert is that he is ever the optimist. He can turn a negative thought around in a second and inspire you even more than you ever thought you would be inspired. I've had my moments, but Robert has always pulled me through - and I have to say, I've done the same for him. Great marriages are like that.

I believe that this adoption is going to happen. We just have to wait for the Universe to decide that it's our time. All it takes is one phone call with the right person. 

Gender-Neutral Crib and Dresser

In all the excitement about the USSS vs. FBI Charity Event, I forgot to mention that we finally found a crib and dresser for the nursery. On Friday, Robert and I headed south to a huge shopping mall. We spent the day together shopping and then stopped for a bite to eat before driving home. One of our favorite purchases of the day was a dresser and crib for the nursery. We were going back and forth about what type of crib we wanted but in the end, we ended up with a traditional pick from Pottery Barn Kids.

We picked out a Chestnut finish but I couldn't find a picture of either in the Chestnut color. Here is a picture of the crib in Espresso:

We bought the Kendall dresser from Pottery Barn Kids. Pictured here is the crib in Espresso finish. We selected a Chestnut finish for ours, as it seemed to be gender-neutral.

We loved the dresser. It's the perfect size to use as a changing table as well so our next purchase will probably be a changing pad. I also saw some really cute changing pad covers on Etsy. Here's a picture of the dresser. Keep in mind that this isn't the finish we selected but I couldn't find Chestnut on the website to share with you. Imagine this but a bit darker:

The dresser shown here is in honey. We selected a Chestnut finish as it felt more gender-neutral and could be used for quite a few years.

We really do have all the basics. Once this furniture is delivered (about two weeks), we'll be all set. I can't wait to put all of the little bits and bobs away in the dresser. Finally, the nursery is coming together. Once we get the furniture set up, I'll snap a photo and share it here.

It's so fun pulling all of this stuff together, even if we haven't been matched with a birth mom yet. We feel so ready to welcome a child into our home. 

FBI vs. USSS Charity Hockey Game

Last night, we attended the FBI vs. USSS Hockey Game at the Kettler Capitals Iceplex with our friends, J and L, and their 5 year old boy, A. They just had a baby a little over a month or so and this was L's first time away from her daughter, whom they left in the capable hands of her mom. As you'll see, J is hard to pin down for a photo op but the rest of us had fun with the camera.

Kris and Robert goofing off during the USSS vs. FBI Charity Game.

The game is an annual event played for charity. This year's charity was Efforts 4 Ellie, a foundation that supports research efforts for glycogen storage diseases (GSD). GSDs are metabolic disorders that make it hard for the body to break down foods to create energy. Ellie was there and stood in the middle of the ice for photo ops then headed up to the prime seats in the house to sit with the USSS.

A and L enjoying the game.

The game might have been for charity but that didn't stop things from getting heated. The first period saw the USSS in the lead, which only spurred the FBI on in the second period, where they pulled out all the stops. It wasn't until the last five minutes that the USSS scored two, pulling them forward for the win.

A mesmerized by the USSS vs. FBI Charity Event. He wants to play hockey now ... the jury is still out on whether mom and dad will let him.

It was only 7:30 pm when the game ended but we were all pooped. L and J were anxious to get back to their little girl and A fell asleep in the back seat. Fun was definitely had by all. Can't wait for Robert and I to be able to share this kind of fun with our own adoptive child, when we are so blessed to be matched to one.

Final score: USSS 7 - 5 FBI

Nursery Ideas

The more I stare at this nursery, the more I like it. Hey, don't knock it. I have to have something to fill my creative mind while I wait for a match. I found this one on Chic & Cheap Nursery.

Anyhoo, I painted the nursery light French gray. It's a Sherwin-Williams color, and not as dark as the gray pictured here. Robert and I both decided last night that the nursery is our favorite room in the house - though there's no furniture in it yet other than a shelf that I painted, a night stand and a lamp. It just feels inviting and soft and relaxing.

I'm trying to find some colors that are bright and cheerful but that are gender-neutral. Why? Well, because we have no idea whether we will be adopting a boy or a girl!

Keep it simple is my motto. I'm more minimalist than anything. So I'll probably choose one overarching color and have a couple of accent colors for pillows and whatnot (such as in this picture) but what really matters is who's in the nursery, after all.

Another Celebrity Adoption - Sandra Bullock

I'm totally in love with Sandra Bullock adopting too. Above is the picture of her People spread just after she adopted baby Louie. Just like Mariska, I've always loved Sandra Bullock. She's not your typical star, in that you don't see her out gallivanting, vying for media attention.

I know, I know. Stars don't live in our world. They decide to adopt and it seems like suddenly, they have a child. Not like the rest of us, who go through months and years of paperwork and waiting before we are finally matched somehow, some way. Regardless, I think it's inspiring.

I don't think I'll be doing any photo shoots after Robert and I adopt ... but you never know. ;)

Compassion During the Adoption Journey

One of the things I've learned from doing yoga is to have compassion for myself. The Dalai Lama says, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

Compassion doesn't always come easy for me. I get angry, sad and sometimes feel like people are treating me badly, just like everyone else. When I'm having those moments, Robert is very good about reminding me that I am only human. "Be kind to yourself today," he says. And whenever he reminds me of that, I instantly take a deep breath, my shoulders drop and I smile.

And so I remind myself and anyone else reading this blog to:

Be Kind to Yourself

Be Patient

Enjoy the Ride

Parenthood: Open vs. Closed Adoption

I don't know if you watch the show Parenthood, but right now, there's a story line about adoption. Julia and Joel have a little girl but decided they wanted another child. After trying and trying, they learn that Julia is infertile. They decide to adopt. (Isn't this just wrapping up nicely?) Julia meets Zoe, a coffee barista who works in Julia's office. Turns out, Zoe's pregnant. Julia strategically strikes up a friendship with Zoe and then asks Zoe if she can buy the baby. Yes folks, I did say "buy the baby." I was appalled at that language - especially since the Julia character is a lawyer - but television is television, after all. (See my post on Juno.) Zoe, who really likes Julia, says no. Shocker for all.

Never having adopted (but truly wishing that an adoption will come through for us), and never having had a baby, I have never been in the situation that Zoe is in. (Again, I do realize this is a TV character and not real at all!) But when Zoe told Julia the reason she didn't want Julia and Joel to adopt the baby, I was surprised ... she wanted a closed adoption.

In a closed adoption, the birth parents remain anonymous to the child. In an open adoption, the birth mother or birth parents decide on some level of contact with the child. Whether that be yearly photos and a letter, periodic emails or a higher level of contact is up to the birth parents and adoptive parents to decide. I always assumed that for our adoption, the birth parents would request some level of openness.

Robert and I are willing to consider all of the birth parents' requests without judgement - no matter what they are. And I have no judgement about this character Zoe at all. (Even if she was a real person and not a character on a TV show.) I have not been in that position and don't know what I would choose if that choice was mine. I think what's important to understand is that birth parents have choices, and they should explore those choices to decide what's right for them. And vice versa.

A television show is fine for what it is - entertainment - but if you really want to know what your options are, educate yourself. Read as much as you can. Talk to people who are experienced. An adoption attorney (lawyer) is a great place to start. Meanwhile, you can start your journey here:

Unplanned Pregnancy: Educate Yourself

Creating Traditions

Robert and I don't go to church on a regular basis. He was brought up attending the Church of England and I was raised as a Presbyterian. Both of us have read the Bible and have faith, but don't feel the urge to attend church in order to practice that faith. Christmas eve is a different story, though.

When I was a little girl, Christmas eve was a magical time. Our entire family would gather together and go to a restaurant for dinner. Afterwards, we'd head back home, read The Night Before Christmas and set cookies and milk out for Santa. Then, late in the evening, we'd head to church and attend a candlelight Christmas service. 

Candlelight Christmas service at our church was like nothing you've ever seen. Everyone was dressed for Christmas and in the best of spirits. The church was adorned with garlands and wreaths. A white-lighted Christmas tree sat in place at the front of the pews. Attendees sang Christmas tunes (including the German version of "Oh Christmas Tree") along with the choir. The preacher read verse from the Christmas story in the Bible and delivered a 15-minute litany on peace and love. But the topping on the cake ... the event I always waited for ... was the singing of "Silent Night" in candlelight. 

Ushers lit candles at the front of the church then stopped at every pew to light a church-goer's candle. That church-goer would turn around and light his neighbor's candle. One by one, all of the candles were lit to the tune of Silent Night. At first, the organ player tapped along but by the last verse, the hall was quiet except for the voices of the church goers and the light of those beautiful candles. Magic. That's all I have to say about it.

This year we attended the candlelight service at my parents' church. It's an old church, erected gothic-style in the 1700s, and has the feel of my childhood. Everyone in my family attended, young and old. Sure, my sister and her son were playing hangman on the program and my sister refused to take communion ... modern ways avail. But by the time we sang "Silent Night," everyone joined in. 

Creating traditions is what creates family. We have a lot of traditions in my family but one I hope will never go away, and that's the candlelight service on Christmas eve. Of course, after we adopt, we'll create new traditions. For Christmas, Robert says we are doing away with leaving out a glass of milk for Santa. In England, Santa gets a glass of sherry and a mince pie ... that sounds like a great new tradition to me!

A Thai Curry Noodle Soup Experiment

When I first met Robert, he had a few cooking specialties: Indian curry, bread and butter pudding and anything pork. Did I mention Robert is originally from England? Yeah, that means he likes strange things like Turkish delight and Christmas pudding. Me? Not so much. But I do love to cook. And since Robert's palate is so diverse, he'll give pretty much anything a taste. That means I get to experiment!

My latest came from Martha Stewart's Living Magazine. I found a recipe for Coconut-Curry Noodle Soup. Don't crinkle your nose. It was pretty darned good! I did accidently buy green curry sauce instead of yellow but I actually think that made the soup even better.

Ingredients:

• 10 ounces Chinese rice noodles (I bought soba)
• 1 T safflower or peanut oil (I had olive oil, so that's what I used)
• 1/4 cup plus 1 T Thai yellow curry paste (I used green curry paste, which was all I could find at the grocery store)
• 4 cups chicken stock
• 1 can unsweetened coconut milk (I used light)
• 1 lemon
• Fresh basil

I also used:

• Cooked, chopped chicken
• 1 lime

Boil noodles according to package directions. Drain and rinse under cold water. Toss with 1 tsp oil. Heat remaining 2 tsp oil in medium saucepan over medium heat. Cook curry paste, stirring 1-2 minutes. Whisk in chicken stock. Raise heat and bring to boil. Whisk in coconut milk. Cook until just simmering. Cut lemon in half and squeeze 1 half into saucepan. Divide noodles and soup among four bowls - or throw the noodles in the soup.

On the side, I also stir fried some basil leaves, threw in cooked chick and drizzled lime juice over the mixture. I let that cook for a couple of minutes then added the mixture to the soup.

Robert and I both agreed after all of the heavy Thanksgiving food that we ate over the past week, this soup was comforting and gentle on our digestive systems. Did I just say that? I sound like I'm writing an article for Yoga Journal ... anyway, it rocked! Try it if you dare. And, if you're feeling frisky, you could try it with different meats (I thought shrimp, a white flaky fish or even eating it vegetarian would be good). You could also buy red curry or yellow curry paste instead of green. That would set it off with different flavors. Experiment! Be Yourself!!